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May212009

Know Yourself... And Support Your Wholeness

Thursday, May 21, 2009 at 09:23AM

Being current with your inner housecleaning does wonders to support your future, as well as your present life situation. What follows are five basic tools and rules that when applied can help you deal with everyday "stuff" so it doesn’t pile up in your psyche, adding further difficulties because it goes unresolved. Taking a little time for you daily can support your inner balance and peace.

Meditate. According to Jon Kabat-Zinn, founding director of the Stress Reduction Clinic at the University of Massachusetts Medical School, meditation is simply the observing of one’s mind and mood. For five minutes a day (at a consistent time and location), observe the thoughts that go through your mind. Don’t push them away, judge them, or feel ashamed; just notice what they are saying to you and let them pass.
Journal. Write about the time during the day when you felt frustrated, hurt, sad or angry. What was happening? What were you feeling and thinking? Get to know your reactions and look for a pattern in them. For example, you might learn that you feel angry when you think someone is trying to control you. Writing about your feelings can help you understand when to back off, and when to stand up for yourself.
Forgive. Colin Tipping’s Radical Forgiveness or Jane Hart’s Seven Steps for Successful Life Transitions are two excellent forgiveness methods. Find a process that helps you overcome your difficulties with others. Unforgiveness balls you up in body, mind and expression; while forgiveness frees you to experience more overall joy.

Use difficult people to learn about your hidden issues. Take that guy at the office that grinds you like fingers down a chalkboard. Get your journal and list all the qualities and behaviors about him that bug you. Ask yourself who this person represents to you. Your older brother whom you were secretly jealous of throughout childhood? Does he remind you of the kid who beat you up in grade school? You can learn a lot about what is blocking you from your potential by embracing those you find difficult to be around. Forgive them even if you don’t know what it is that you don’t like. The health benefits of this action alone will be worth your effort.

Trust yourself above all others. There is no teacher, master, therapist, guru, or life coach out there who is any good unless they are telling you to listen to your own inner promptings. As you watch your own thinking and journal out your feelings, you will begin to understand more about who you are. This is a wonderful and scary thing! Trust that your inner wisdom will reveal itself and support you as you work to resolve fear and frustration.

Unravel the mystery of you and trust that you know best about who you are. You may choose to see a therapist to support you in your processing, but ultimately, you will always need your own clear, listening self. You are the only self that you have—support it!

Lynn Barrette is a therapist at Center for Creative Living in Royal Oak, supporting individuals of all ages in working through relationship, parenting and personal growth issues.

Know yourself…and support your wholeness

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